Over the years many of us have been chameleons in our lives as we’ve shifted our colors to blend in with the demands of our culture and surrounding environment. At first it may be fun trying on all the different colors, but eventually we lose a sense of who we really are, what we really want, and what we really need to live an authentic life. Little by little, our catering to other’s wants, needs, and expectations chips away at our identity until we became unrecognizable to ourselves.
Time to express your true colors! Here are 5 ways to help you live a more empowered and authentic life:
Question the Source and Motivation: One of the worst things you can do to deflate your confidence and self-esteem is to allow other’s opinions of you dictate your sense of self-worth. Very often, what people say is more about them than it actually is about you. They’re projecting their insecurities, fears, and frustrations about their own shortcomings onto you. Strangely, the faults we gravitate towards in others are the very things we need to heal within ourselves.
Question the source and motivation of those disseminating information; this includes not only face-to-face contact but also what you absorb through television, magazines, and of course social media. Be a vigilant gatekeeper when it comes to the information you allow into your personal space.
Pay Attention to Your Gut: If something or someone gives you an uneasy feeling, there’s a reason for it. Many times, we ignore our gut feeling and regret doing so later on. This is particularly prevalent in personal relationships. We knew something isn’t quite right but continued to carry on rationalizing or denying it until one day it can no longer be ignored. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t dismiss it, get curious about it! Our bodies are intelligent and can sense when something is not in our best interest or aligned with who we are and what we want.
Spend Time Alone: We are continually surrounded by others and constantly bombarded by their thoughts, beliefs, opinions, and energy. In order to get in touch with what we truly want to become, create, do, or have we need to take time to tap into our own thoughts, beliefs and desires. Take time for yourself: journal, pray, meditate, or spend time in nature. Get to know yourself, by yourself.
Speak Your Mind: Holding back what we need to say is painful and counterproductive and can manifest as anger and frustration, which will only lead to destructive behaviors to numb the pain and suppress the negative feelings. We need to speak our truths and be heard but this doesn’t mean we need to continually barrage others with our opinions and demands. When necessary, we need to honestly and openly communicate with integrity and compassion so that we can effectively express our true selves and be heard.
Don’t Apologize for Who You Are: When you apologize for who you are you send the message to yourself that you are not enough and need to be fixed. You are important, your dreams are important, and the very fact that you are here means you are enough!
We are beautiful, complicated, and lovable creatures—every single one of us. Sometimes we are the most beautiful colors in the rainbow and other times we are varied shades of black and gray. Our greatest challenge is accepting the whole spectrum of ourselves. It’s a journey of a lifetime; not one that is mastered overnight. But this is the key to not only living an authentic life, but a truly happy one.
Learn more about My Services and how you can live an empowered and authentic life.